Camp: private conversations

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Respond here for a private conversation with Red! All comment threads are screened.

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[le_mat]

So you and Mr. Pines will...

[that honestly clearly distresses him more than anything else they've discussed so far]

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Eventually, yes. But we're older and more resistant to the effects. I haven't even started hearing the voices yet, and I don't think Stan has either. So we will be here for quite some time yet.

[le_mat]

Mr. Pines... he doesn't realize what's happening. They... they did something to him. Why? It's not the same as you.

[ his voice wavers at this- he... likes Stan a lot]

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...

Not all counselors would go along with the camp willingly. The Facilitator must keep their memories, but that is not a requirement for the other counselors.

It...seemed kinder, to make him not realize what is going on.

[le_mat]

He'd never go with it if he knew.

[Ren says this like he knows it for certain]

But since Talcott... [He shakes his head and cuts himself off. No, no he isn't going to say shit about how sad Stan looks, about his dreams. No, because Red might take his memories away again. Or worse.]

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He never would, no.

[She hears him cut himself off, and she just waits. Emotions are hard, it's okay Ren. She's patient.]

[le_mat]

...things are hard, for all of us. Something is going to snap.

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I know.

[le_mat]

It has before, I'm guessing. Has anyone ever made it all the way? I'm really starting to think not.

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...

I can't speak for years before my time, but since I have been here, no.

[Seven years. Not a single survivor.

There's a reason this job gets to her.]

It would be nice if someone would make it, though.

[le_mat]

But what then? I... I think I'd rather die then get out of here on everyone else's back. Or before this... thing... took over.

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That's a little surprising to hear coming from you. I thought you would be one of the ones to make it to the end, get out of here, and then try to steal the hearts of everyone at my organization.

[le_mat]

[he laughs bitterly]

Of course I plan on doing just that- I still have dibs on your heart too, Red. But I'm not killing anyone to do it. That's against our aesthetics. There's no such thing as 'acceptable sacrifices'. That's... That's what lead Akechi where he ended up. It would be a spit in his face to end this that way.

[it was what the fake Igor had tempted him with. And he had been so very close to taking it]

...plus I refuse to be anything or anyone's puppet ever again.

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[So, fun fact: Red visibly tenses up when Akechi's name is mentioned. Like, to the point where she makes a mistake while painting Ren's nail. But she quickly recovers and moves to tidy up that mistake.]

You want to live, but you don't want to accept that living means someone else will die. That's quite the conundrum.

[A pause, and she will move on to his other hand.]

...

I hope you do survive. Someone like you might actually be able to change things.

[le_mat]

People keeps saying that.

[he doesn't sound annoyed or even sad. Maybe a bit resigned, and a bit proud in equal conflicting measure. He let's her paint in comfortable silence for awhile. Thinking]

I don't know if Akechi and I were ever friends. I REALLY don't know if I was ever his- if he even could have one anymore at that point. We were enemies... Akechi was my enemy. But maybe Crow was my friend.

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But this isn't the Metaverse, and Crow will never be here. Just like how Joker won't be here either. It's Ren who will sink or swim.

[As she finishes up his nails, she sets the red aside and pulls out a bottle of white. Time for some polka dots on the middle fingers!]

Those who make a difference rarely get to make that difference at the pace they choose. They have to act when the opening is there. When my world ended, nobody asked me if I was ready to act. Fate just handed me a sword and said 'fight, or be consumed.'

[le_mat]

[He nods. She's not wrong - He had to make so many choices based on his gut at the end there when he couldn't retreat to his 'real' life to recharge his mind and soul.]

Joker is cool and collected. He takes what he wants. I'm not sure how much of that is really me, sometimes. Guess now I don't get the chance to debate it either way.

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I think you're better off as 'Ren' anyway.

Joker steals hearts, but Ren actually knows what to do with the hearts that have been stolen.

[le_mat]

[That was something he had learned recently, in the prison of regression. Sure, taking out 'bad' people was fine. Noble even. But without cutting the root all he did was put them right back where they started.

Joker wasn't subtle. Joker was just who he wanted to be. Someone that could fight back against all the injustice he had suffered. Joker was, deep down, a wish for revenge as much as he was for justice. Maybe that was why he was so much more violent then Ren- he was just a part of who he could be, without anything holding him back.

Still, Red's words make him blush a little]

Hey now, I'm the one that's supposed to word things like that.

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[Oh god he looks abso-fucking-lutely adorable when he blushes like that. Red almost wants to pinch his cheeks right now.]

I've been around a lot longer than you, so I get to say the cool lines sometimes.

[But only sometimes.]

[le_mat]

Hmmm, saving them for the right moments. I get it.

[huffhuff]

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Of course. Timing is everything for a musician.

[She knows you were in her mind and saw that concert, Ren. Get rekt.]

[le_mat]

[He looks even more embarrassed - he's not used to being rekt gdi]

Maybe I should learn an instrument or something. You know, expand my horizons.

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It's always good to expand your horizons. You might have trouble finding an instrument in camp, though. This isn't band camp.

[le_mat]

... why IS it a camp?

[That's the question that's been bothering him for awhile, honestly]