Camp: private conversations

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Respond here for a private conversation with Red! All comment threads are screened.

Comments

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This is me fighting. They want all of you dead, if not by the ritual then because 'they're not useful enough to keep around'. To them, someone's worth is only in their strengths and what they can accomplish. A person is a tool, meant to be discarded when it is no longer useful.

Daring to live is an act of rebellion, and it's one I will gladly help you with.

[le_mat]

[He's trembling, but it's not just with shock and grief. It's with rage, low boiling rage]

Yeah. Yeah, okay. If... if you're sure. I don't know if the others... other than Nine and Ichigo and Mitsuru... can even look at me anymore. But I... I'm not giving up on them.

...but it really might come down to just... hoping for a better chance next year, huh?

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...admittedly the last couple weeks are always the worst, but I want you to make it out alive.

[It's for selfish reasons, and she can recognize that. Picking favorites is not a good idea in murdercamp.]

[le_mat]

Recruit yourself a cute underling. Hmm, I see.

[He's joking, even if it's the darkest of humor.]

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[Okay, that gets her to roll her eyes.]

You caught me, I'm just collecting underlings here.

[le_mat]

Criminal, absolutely criminal.

Red... uhm, do you think I could crash with you or Stan, for awhile?

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You sure your absence won't be noticed by the others?

[Not that she minds, but the others might get freaked out.]

[le_mat]

I don't know if they want to have me sleeping around them at this point.

I'll try but... having the option might... help.

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...

You can stay Thursday night.

[Try to work it out the other nights though.]

[le_mat]

...

[He nods]

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You'll be fine. With the medicine your mind will be clearer.

[Is she saying it to reassure Ren, or herself?]

[le_mat]

I hope so. But I guess I don't really need anyone to like me to get things done.

[He knows Ichigo and Mitsuru are in his corner. He's not sure about the others yet though]

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...Ren. I read your file. Don't give me that 'I don't need anyone to like me' nonsense.

[le_mat]

[He turns pink at that]

H-hey... look, I've been trying but...

[Killing a kid in front of everyone is a Lot]

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[She knows, she does it every week.]

You can be honest with your feelings. Tell others that you want to be their friend.

[le_mat]

...that simple, huh...

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Not everyone can go into people's minds and see their inner desires. You have to tell people what you want.

[le_mat]

Ichigo.. said, after last Sunday... that people don't know who I really am because I never show them. Am I... really like that?

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To some extent, yes. You're very guarded, you know. You don't let people see the real you.

[le_mat]

...I see.

[But unlike when Ichigo had said the same thing, this time Ren is... thoughtful. Maybe a little sullen, but considering, at least. Instead of terrified]

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[She considers something, while Ren is quiet. It gives her time to think about something as well.]

...music has power. Did you know that?

[It's relevant to the conversation, promise.]

[le_mat]

Uh... literally or figuratively?

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...well I meant figuratively, but I HAVE met people who can fight with song.

[le_mat]

[He chuckles]

Okay, than yeah, I know what you mean.

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[bards, man.]

The point is, I was a poplar singer where I came from. My concerts sold out weeks in advance, and there was never an open seat to be found. I write all of my own music in addition to singing, so to have so many people moved by what I have to say, it feels nice.

But with that comes the unexpected downside of people putting you on a pedestal and acting out because of your music. People saw meaning in what I had to say, but the danger was that not everything that people found was good.

Even if nobody ever directly blamed me for it, I felt responsible. And I started meeting fans face-to-face much less because of it.

[Closing herself off, not letting them see the real her, that kind of thing.]