Camp: private conversations

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Respond here for a private conversation with Red! All comment threads are screened.

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I figured. It is a good question, though.

[fallbymyhands]

[. . .]

Red. . . despite everything that's occurred with your boss, do you still believe in what they're doing for the "good of the world?"

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...

[She closes her eyes and concentrates on something for a moment.]

I've seen things before. Things I wouldn't wish upon any of you. I've seen shadow monsters rip people limb from limb. I've seen people eaten alive by a swarm of insects. I've seen men and women descend into madness by a sound produced by a sea creature. This world is full of monsters, Mitsuru. This camp is just one of many locations dealing with an infestation. It is a tamer one, to be sure, but it is still a thing that goes bump in the night.

And when you're in a situation like that, when you can see that creature ripping through men and women as if they're nothing, and you know that the only way to stop it is to sacrifice someone else, it can be hard to think 'is this really good?' But then you look around at the world and see that countless others live because of a few terrible actions by men with good intentions, and you realize 'if there was a better option, they would do it.'

[Then she opens her eyes.]

That's what I have to believe. That sometimes the world needs a select few to become monsters to protect the many from the things that lurk in the shadows.

[fallbymyhands]

[quiet for a long, long moment after Red says that, and when she speaks again, her voice is soft]

Is that what you have to believe to keep yourself together? Or. . . because you truly believe that to be true?

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Maybe a little of both, I suppose. I've been at this a long time, Mitsuru. If it's all been for nothing, then I have a lot of blood on my hands for no reason.

[fallbymyhands]

[oh. that feeling. that feeling of helplessness, of loss, of feeling as though everything you did was pointless]

I wouldn't say that, Red. Perhaps there is a better way. But you're here, doing what you believe is right to protect a large majority of people, until that better way is found.

That is important. And that is worthwhile.

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If there is a better way, I would certainly like to find it. I'm tired of murdering children.

[She sounds tired too.]

[fallbymyhands]

I'd like to help you.

[because she wants to free Red. she wants to]

If there is a better way, I'd like to do everything within my power to find it.

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If you find a better way, then please, let me know.

[Because despite what she says, she wants out too.]

[fallbymyhands]

I will.

[in a heartbeat, without a doubt]

I can guarantee that.