Camp: private conversations

[backspacing]

Respond here for a private conversation with Red! All comment threads are screened.

Comments

[le_mat]

Do you?

[He looks up, and lightly touches his own neck, in the spot she was shot last week]

[backspacing]

A bit more, yes.

[She does see that gesture, though.]

It's more horrifying to not be in control of your own body than it is to do horrible acts under coercion but ultimately under your own choosing.

[le_mat]

I... I... it was so much like when I was drugged. With the cops. Everything was watery and loose. Sometimes I felt myself saying things I didn't mean to- if it wasn't with Sae-san the cops could have... made me say or do anything eventually.

[He starts crying again, but it's blessedly silent this time]

That was... bad. But I never- not this. I killed him.

[backspacing]

Ren...

[She's sitting in her own chair, but she will reach over to pull him into a hug, cradling his head much like a mother would do for an upset child.]

I'm sorry.

...I might have something that can help, if you want to try it.

[le_mat]

[He clings almost on instinct, and nods. Anything so he's not a danger anymore]

[backspacing]

It...might be startling at first, given your history. But I promise, nothing will happen without your consent. Alright?

[le_mat]

[He tenses.... then searches Red's face for something.

...and decides, yes, yes he trusts her. Completely]

Okay.

[backspacing]

[She'll let go long enough to go over to her little mini-fridge and pull out one of the vials of liquid there. It's labeled with the medical name for insulin, but. Well.]

If you get two doses of this a day, it slows the infection process to a near standstill and stops the stone god from taking over your body. Even when he was as far along as you, Dan was alright as long as he remembered to take his medicine.

The downside is that it's injection-only.

[le_mat]

[He shivers- she knows his fears. He can't stop them. But after a few deep breaths, he sticks out his arm]

If it'll help, do it.

[backspacing]

[Well alright then, let's just go get a syringe and prepare it.]

Twice a day. Once in the morning, and once in the evening. And you can't tell anyone about this. I only have enough for one person, and I think a riot would break out in camp if anyone knew. Plus my superiors really would punish me if they found out.

[But so long as he holds still, she'll inject him.

It'll take a few shots to get the full effects, but his mind will be significantly less cloudy already. By Monday morning, if he keeps up with the shot visits, he'll be mentally at about the same level as everyone else and not lose control of his body anymore. The physical changes will remain though. Enjoy your creepy stone-eyes, Ren.]

[le_mat]

Red... why? I don't want to get you in trouble. These are dangerous people...

[backspacing]

Hundreds of children have died because I 'didn't want to get in trouble'. If I don't start doing something, hundreds more will before I succumb to the stone or old age.

It's too much. I've been doing this for too long, and I can't keep doing it. Not when I can help.

[le_mat]

You could die.

[backspacing]

We all die. Each and every one of us.

[With the dose given, she'll stow the syringe and put the vial back in the fridge.]

...I'm old, Ren. A lot older than I look. Something about me makes it so I don't age like you would expect, but I feel it in my bones at the end of every day. Every time I use my powers it drains me more and more. I don't have decades and decades left of life, I might get another ten years at most.

You've got many more than I do. I want you to live beyond what this camp has to offer for you.

[le_mat]

Red... you're not allowed to say that. You or Stan- just... just because I'm a kid. You're not allowed to tell me to live if you're not going to fight too.

[There's a little of that fire back]

[backspacing]

This is me fighting. They want all of you dead, if not by the ritual then because 'they're not useful enough to keep around'. To them, someone's worth is only in their strengths and what they can accomplish. A person is a tool, meant to be discarded when it is no longer useful.

Daring to live is an act of rebellion, and it's one I will gladly help you with.

[le_mat]

[He's trembling, but it's not just with shock and grief. It's with rage, low boiling rage]

Yeah. Yeah, okay. If... if you're sure. I don't know if the others... other than Nine and Ichigo and Mitsuru... can even look at me anymore. But I... I'm not giving up on them.

...but it really might come down to just... hoping for a better chance next year, huh?

[backspacing]

...admittedly the last couple weeks are always the worst, but I want you to make it out alive.

[It's for selfish reasons, and she can recognize that. Picking favorites is not a good idea in murdercamp.]

[le_mat]

Recruit yourself a cute underling. Hmm, I see.

[He's joking, even if it's the darkest of humor.]

[backspacing]

[Okay, that gets her to roll her eyes.]

You caught me, I'm just collecting underlings here.

[le_mat]

Criminal, absolutely criminal.

Red... uhm, do you think I could crash with you or Stan, for awhile?

[backspacing]

You sure your absence won't be noticed by the others?

[Not that she minds, but the others might get freaked out.]

[le_mat]

I don't know if they want to have me sleeping around them at this point.

I'll try but... having the option might... help.

[backspacing]

...

You can stay Thursday night.

[Try to work it out the other nights though.]

[le_mat]

...

[He nods]