Camp: private conversations

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Respond here for a private conversation with Red! All comment threads are screened.

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[fallbymyhands]

[huffs!!]

I'm grateful you have that much faith in me, at the very least.

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[She's still checking her stuff though.]

...huh. Was I really in the middle of a raid fight? Anyway, thank you for returning it.

[fallbymyhands]

You're welcome.

[. . .]

How are you faring, after that?

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I'm...not happy with what happened.

[fallbymyhands]

No one is.

[she curls her hands into the fabric of her shirt, arms crossed]

What they asked you do to was utterly vile.

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[...right, she probably read the text message.]

I would have let it go, if I could have. Just 'killed' his body, and let his candy go free.

[fallbymyhands]

I know.

[she saw that Red was prepared to do just that]

You aren't inherently cruel. Not like. . . your boss.

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He just doesn't understand. We're not people to him. We're expendable. That's why I have to-

[She stops herself there.]

...my apologies. I shouldn't burden you with any of this.

1/2

[fallbymyhands]

Non. That's why I'm here, Red. To help you shoulder this burden.

[fallbymyhands]

[except then she realizes how presumptuous that may sound, and quickly adds]

. . . if you would let me, of course.

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[Oh no that's adorable.

And luckily Mitsuru passes the CR check there, so.]

It...might be nice, to have someone to rely on. Normally the other counselors are fully aware of what's going on and can help, but...

[Well. Mitsuru knows the situation with Stan. and Dan is dead.]

[fallbymyhands]

[KIRIJO GETTING BETTER AT WORKING THAT CR]

Pines is. . . compromised. I understand.

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Truthfully he shouldn't be here. He's...I don't even know where he would work, but the truth of this camp would break him.

[fallbymyhands]

I see. . . [so that's why they did what the ydid to his mind]

Underneath it all, he seems like a gentle soul. I can't imagine why they sent him to work here in the first place.

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I think they just didn't have anywhere else to put him, honestly.

[fallbymyhands]

Perhaps. . . but in that case, I can't imagine a man like him coming to work for your organization willingly.

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...mmm.

[It's a thoughtful noise. Stan isn't a camper, so she doesn't have his profile to look at.]

[fallbymyhands]

[right. Red wouldn't know. that's definitely a question better asked to Stan]

I suppose it was more of a rhetorical statement. I didn't expect you to have that answer.

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I figured. It is a good question, though.

[fallbymyhands]

[. . .]

Red. . . despite everything that's occurred with your boss, do you still believe in what they're doing for the "good of the world?"

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...

[She closes her eyes and concentrates on something for a moment.]

I've seen things before. Things I wouldn't wish upon any of you. I've seen shadow monsters rip people limb from limb. I've seen people eaten alive by a swarm of insects. I've seen men and women descend into madness by a sound produced by a sea creature. This world is full of monsters, Mitsuru. This camp is just one of many locations dealing with an infestation. It is a tamer one, to be sure, but it is still a thing that goes bump in the night.

And when you're in a situation like that, when you can see that creature ripping through men and women as if they're nothing, and you know that the only way to stop it is to sacrifice someone else, it can be hard to think 'is this really good?' But then you look around at the world and see that countless others live because of a few terrible actions by men with good intentions, and you realize 'if there was a better option, they would do it.'

[Then she opens her eyes.]

That's what I have to believe. That sometimes the world needs a select few to become monsters to protect the many from the things that lurk in the shadows.

[fallbymyhands]

[quiet for a long, long moment after Red says that, and when she speaks again, her voice is soft]

Is that what you have to believe to keep yourself together? Or. . . because you truly believe that to be true?

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Maybe a little of both, I suppose. I've been at this a long time, Mitsuru. If it's all been for nothing, then I have a lot of blood on my hands for no reason.

[fallbymyhands]

[oh. that feeling. that feeling of helplessness, of loss, of feeling as though everything you did was pointless]

I wouldn't say that, Red. Perhaps there is a better way. But you're here, doing what you believe is right to protect a large majority of people, until that better way is found.

That is important. And that is worthwhile.

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If there is a better way, I would certainly like to find it. I'm tired of murdering children.

[She sounds tired too.]